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The Stoic

A stoic is someone who feels that it is necessary to expect and, in turn, be completely prepared for anything and everything that may happen. They are completely and utterly mad and are not to be trusted. I was reading "Meditations" a year or so ago in a well-lit room of my home. I had believed that the book would teach me enough to be able to be a kind, caring, and passably-decent person. Apparently so did the cockroach in my lamp fixture. I first met the cockroach that day while reaching for my glass of water. I heard a soft thud on the desk in the corner of the room. He was a robust beast with all the trimmings of a normal cockroach except for the glasses. He scurried, much to my dismay, in my direction. I chose to ignore the fellow. I thought maybe if I didn’t bother the cockroach, a stray neighborhood cat would have a pleasant, crunchy snack while I’m away. I avoided naming him for that reason. I continued to read the book, struggling desperately to actually retain the words when I felt a tickling sensation on the thumb of my right hand. I glanced at the small cookie I had laid out as bait for the roach and it was devoid of arthropods. I shifted my gaze, somewhat unwillingly back to my lap in which I held the book and there he was, six legs, antennae, tiny glasses and all, reading the words from his perch on my thumb. I don’t remember much that happened after that, and I will be the first to admit that I was seeing red for most of it, but I do remember jumping up, dropping my book, and thwacking the miniature, well-read monster with my slipper. While wiping away the small pool of cockroach innards and shards of glass, I resolved to quit reading for the evening and go to bed.

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